The real reason why you don't hit the gym

If you’re struggling to drag yourself to the gym, it’s not about motivation. It’s about identity. You don’t skip workouts because you’re lazy—you skip them because you don’t know who you are yet. I learned this the hard way, and it changed everything for me. Let me take you through how I went from a scrawny nerd to a beast who commands respect, and how you can make fitness part of your DNA too.

The Skinny Kid Who Couldn’t Do Five Pull-Ups

When I first came to America, I was 6’2” and a pathetic 140 pounds. My clothes hung off me like I was a scarecrow. I couldn’t do five pull-ups without feeling like my arms were going to snap. I was a computer guy—weak, awkward, and out of place. Then I started training at this gym in the Valley, surrounded by jacked dudes and fitness freaks. I felt like a fish out of water, but something clicked one day. I asked myself: Axel, you want to direct blockbuster action movies in Hollywood. How the hell are you going to command a set, tell a movie star what to do, or impress anyone if you can’t even lift 100 pounds?

That hit me like a truck. If I wanted to be the guy who walks into a room and owns it, I had to stop being the weakling I saw in the mirror. So I started small—home workouts, P90X, anything to move the needle. I saw this girl who’d gone from overweight to stunning through the same program, and I thought, If she can do it, what’s my excuse? That’s when I realized: who I was then wasn’t good enough, but I had the potential to be so much more.

Rewire Your Brain: You Are What You Do

Here’s the secret: fitness isn’t about feeling like it. It’s about deciding who you are. Sit down for 10 minutes and picture the person you want to be in five or ten years. How do you want your kids to see you? Your friends? How do you want to feel when you look in the mirror? Give that version of yourself a name, a face, a vibe. For me, it was the director who’s strong, confident, and respected—not the skinny nerd.

Once you’ve got that image, tell yourself, That’s me. The guy you’re becoming doesn’t skip the gym. He doesn’t whine about being tired. He shows up and does the push-ups, the pull-ups, the squats—because that’s what he does. It’s not about motivation; it’s about identity. And when that clicks, it’s game over. You don’t need a pre-workout or a pep talk. You just go.

Action Turns Into Results

Identity’s the spark, but action’s the fuel. Put it on your calendar—every day at 7 a.m., you’re at the gym. Will you miss days? Sure. Life happens. But I’d rather you plan for it and hit 80% than leave it to chance and flake every time. Consistency beats perfection. Even if you’re weak as hell starting out, show up. Two or three months of that, and you’ll see a shift—muscles forming, confidence growing. Your body adapts, and suddenly, you are that person who trains. I’ve gone weeks without lifting, but every time I get back, it floods back. Why? Because it’s who I am now.

This isn’t just about looking good. It’s about self-command. If I can’t force myself to lift weights when I don’t feel like it, how am I going to pitch a movie, close a deal, or convince you to read this? Fitness became the foundation of my success—proof I could control my mind and body. It’ll do the same for you.

Surround Yourself With Strength

You don’t have to do it alone, but don’t lean on a gym buddy as a crutch either. When I started training with my friend Abraham, he was a rock—benching heavy, leg-pressing plates I couldn’t dream of. I could barely do two plates, but I kept showing up. He respected that, and it pushed me. People don’t care if you’re weak at first—they care if you’re consistent.

Here’s a pro tip: spot someone ripped at the gym. Walk up and say, “Hey, I admire how you train. Seeing you here motivates me.” Ask a question—how they got started, what they eat, anything. Fit people love that stuff. They’ll share tips, maybe even train with you. Don’t be shy—those are the connections that’ll transform you. Hang around smokers and vapers, and you’ll become one. Hang around beasts, and you’ll turn into one too.

The Bottom Line

Stop waiting for summer or some magic moment. Every day, someone’s outworking you because they’ve decided who they are. You can too. Picture your best self, act like him, and show up—weak or not. In a few months, you won’t recognize the old you. That’s not hype; it’s what happened to me. So get off your ass, hit the gym, and build the warrior you’re meant to be. It all starts with you.